How I Realised My Son Was Warming Up To My New Daughter
Got milk?
My son asked: “Dad, I want milk! Let’s try it!”
For context, that is him being polite. It escapes him to say please. Anytime we repeat it to get him to mimic us, his response is always “okay.” He just plonks “let’s try it” at the end of a sentence to let you know he is asking for permission or your participation. It’s so cute.
Here’s how I figured he now accepts my daughter
My son has odd sleeping habits. Undoubtedly, he inherited them from me. My entire nuclear family are “night-owls.” It’s highly likely we copied that trait from my father.
If my son gets an afternoon nap, I can be up watching him until the very early hours of the morning. At these unholy times, he might make a trip to the fridge or pantry, pull out the desired item from the shelf, and bring it to you with a cup or plate.
He then proceeds to ask for the thing that is right in front of you to disarm you from saying it’s finished. In this scenario, you have to say yes, no, or distract him with something unrelated. Those are your only options.
Lately, he has become unruly whenever my wife or I hold my baby daughter. His jealousy is explicit. Often my wife needs to mema him (carry him piggyback) while breastfeeding my daughter.
Last night, we unknowingly had a breakthrough.
He grabbed my arm and led me to the fridge. He asked for some milk and brought one of his old bottles with a teat. I thought he wanted to pretend to be a baby as a ploy to get attention.
I found out the next morning that he had tried to feed the milk to the baby. Babies drink milk. There’s milk in the fridge. He just put two and two together.
My misunderstanding
I misunderstood his request as a jealous cry for attention. It really was his way of taking care of the newest member of his tribe. His “small heart grew three sizes that day.”
My expectation guided my interpretation of his actions. My son showed that he was maturing into a big brother who would look after my girl from now on.
So today, my blessing goes out to him.
To my son: live longer, and may your tribe increase!
This story is also published on my Notion blog.
